This is gold. Hope you get a laugh*.

*
When girls don't put out!!*

*This was written by a guy.....it's pretty damn smart.

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their
heart....

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well,
the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it,
I
just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear....*

*'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for
who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond
earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I
was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis.....

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was
almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling
with
excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's
go
to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel
like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
'Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.......but at least she knows
I'm smarter than her!!!*